23 June - Lubeck to Ahaus. 248 miles

This is the craziest hotel in which I have ever stayed. For later.

A shorter drive today to Ahaus, which sits about as close as any German town could be to the Dutch border. 

It might have been sensible to add another 100 miles in order to get back earlier tomorrow, but there we are. 

It was mostly quiet country roads through pleasing farm and woodland and small villages. No signs of any agricultural work, but I did spot this plane at one farm.

The owner clearly in touch with his feminine side.

It was 25 degrees and we tried to keep moving at some speed to create a cooling draught.

Even though it was Sunday, we were surprised that there was hardly a soul about wherever we went. And so quiet! Not even church bells ringing.

When we reached Ahaus, it was also deader than the deadest man in Dead Man's Gulch. But that was Piccadilly Circus compared to the hotel. We parked and wandered around all four sides. All doors locked. No obvious entrance. No lights on or sign of life within. 

After an hour of waiting in the heat, trying in vain to find a phone number, we loaded up The Toad and decided to look for somewhere else. As we were about to leave, someone drove up and let us in. Because this, lady (the only one of whom I am aware who bothers to read this rubbish) and gentlemen, is the hotel of the future. It opened two months ago. It has no visible staff. Guests have to download a 'wallet' containing an access code to get them into the building and their room (the phone is meant to be waved at the doors and they then open). 

There is a pub attached - The Unbrexit.

As I said, no front of house staff. Everything is ordered on unattended iPads using the 'wallet' to pay. I have not tried it yet but I assume beer etc appear from behind an electronic screen.

The lift is tiled and has a shower head and taps.

The rooms are also controlled by wall-mounted iPads. The window will not open because the electronic blind is blocking it. We have to keep moving or the lights sense inactivity and go out every three minutes or so (something I recall from Whitehall offices many years ago, when we had to wave our arms about periodically to avoid being plunged into darkness). There is no table nor chair, so we are writing this sitting on a shelf in the wardrobe, getting up frequently to maintain some illumination. If this is the hotel of the future, it takes some getting used to.

Ahaus is a pleasant enough small town.

Ahaus. In the middle of the street.

You will want to know that it is the home for Germany's interim storage of radioactive spent fuel, which may have something to do with the red glow coming from under our bed (yes, really). 

It has a square, symmetrical Schloss

Surrounded by a square moat.

This chap must have also stayed at the hotel.

Here's something. This church is 500 years old

Inside, however...

We are pondering whether to try The Unbrexit bar tonight. I saw that it does not have a Boris Johnson dartboard (my loathing for the philandering chancer knowing no depths).

We are annoyed about that indicator pod because it is not the first time it has sheared in the same place. It is secured to the headlamp bracket by a plastic screw that is fused to the bracket - it that breaks, an entire new bracket is needed. It is shoddy design and the indicator would have been better integrated with the headlamp (which itself could do with a brighter bulb). 

Which got me thinking:

The M3W has not let me down on this trip. Mechanically, it has been marvellous. But...

• I should not be getting the sound of loose screws somewhere between the scuttle and the steering column. Neither MMC nor my garage could find anything rolling around, but two bolts have fallen out and no one knows whence they came.

• Visibility is difficult in the rain, particularly though a helmet visor and a windscreen with neither having wipers. The plexiglass also scratches easily. I would rather have a safety glass full screen that could be folded down either for better visibility or for true wind in the face motoring.

• They really should have sorted out the Bevel Box by now. The shriek in Fourth and Fifth is something I have had to accept, but I would rather hear that lovely engine note unadulterated by rattles and whines. I would like to put the front wheel drive (and therefore BB-free) Pembleton through its paces to see if a passive rear wheel makes that much difference in such a light vehicle.

• Instruments that work would be nice. The speedo overreads by around 8% so I rely on the satnav’s indication. The fuel gauge has only just started to work but from what I have heard most  users get wildly differing performances from theirs. At Montlhery we compared four M3Ws: at that time, mine showed zero fuel after 100 miles (it now reads at least 60%); another two bottomed out at 80 miles and the fourth read empty after 50 miles! I now know the tank range is 250+ miles. In the eighth year of five-speeder production, that is really not good enough.

• One of my Dzus boot fasteners has just about given up the ghost and the so-called Heritage bonnet catches are so springy that the bonnet slides forward half an inch on any journey.

• I am waiting for the first EU4 with an ‘EU3 Appearance Pack’ (ie voiding its EU4 compliance) to be caught out on resale/MOT. I am not sure that an EU4 owner has appeared on TM but I would be interested in their views.

• I would also be interested to know whether (with a much smaller sample size) Triking and, in time, Pembleton owners’ fora experience the same build quality and design grumbles that we see from M3W owners. With the Triking, I suspect that its community is inclined to defend it fiercely on the basis that they are proud not to have a Morgan.

(Later this evening) I thought I would give the Unbrexit pub a try, so I found a barman and asked for beer. "Have you ordered?" He said. "I thought I was doing that". "No, you must order via your phone". "Why can't I just ask you?" "Because we are a software company".

So I tried food. That had to be ordered on my phone, but not without entering a table number. Bear in mind that the person doing food was standing next to me and there was no-one else here. She eventually conceded that she might be able to find me but the system will not let me pay without a table number.

Is the future really better?

Back to the bosom tomorrow.